love this. article from shiftshappen-site.com

If you are ever unhappy, you are accountable for it. There is always a reason why you choose to be unhappy. In some way, you are benefitting from being unhappy. Getting in touch with that reason is the purpose of this article.

It’s not whether you want to be happy and it’s not whether you should be happy. You can want to be happy, but your desire to be unhappy may be stronger. And it’s not whether you should be happy because telling yourself that you should behave a particular way means that you are fighting your genuine self in order to conform to societal pressure.

Being happy comes down to your own personal choice. It is having a willful desire to be happy despite what has happened in your life. You have to be OK with being happy regardless of what did happen or what is currently happening.

Being OK with being happy means that you are willing to let go of the benefits that unhappiness brings. Being unhappy can be very safe. Such benefits include avoiding the fear of letting go or moving on before you feel the time is appropriate.

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(Source: believeinrecovery)

article from tinybuddha.com

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

Valentine’s Day. Yes, that day—the much maligned, much cherished, much hated, and much misunderstood day of the year.

I remember being traumatized in adolescence. Not only were we supposed to, according to peer-reviewed social norms, like people and get liked back on this holiday, my school made us do Valentine’s day card/candy exchanges.

We exchanged, in class, little pre-packaged cards and those infamous heart-shaped candies stamped with subtle expressions like “be mine.”

Do you recall these candy hearts that I’m describing? They come in variety packs, taste like chalk, and have words stamped on them like “marry me” and “real love.”

How traumatizing it was for me to pick the right heart to give to the right person in my class—I didn’t want to give the wrong person the wrong heart—and then, for the one girl I did have a crush on, to sheepishly hand her the candy that said, “kiss me.”

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(Source: believeinrecovery)

this is my new favorite ‘self help’ site. i love everything he writes.
great guild for making goals for yourself
article from stevepavlina.com

In his recent book Manifesting for Non-Gurus, Robert MacPhee contrasts two different methods for making your desires a reality.

The first method is to define your outcome and then dive right into massive action. Adjust your approach along the way, and keep going until you get there. This approach is easy to begin, but as Robert points out, you’ll typically run into serious resistance down the road. Very often such goals get derailed long before they’re achieved. Sound familiar?

The second method, and the basis of Robert’s book, consists of 5 steps:

1. Ask and answer the question Who am I?
2. Ask and answer the question What am I intending to attract?
3. Ask and answer the question How will I feel (when I experience what I intend to attract)?
4. Let go of attachments
5. Take inspired action

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(Source: believeinrecovery)

article from zenhabits.net

Uncertainty. It’s a terrifying word.

Living with it, dangling over your head like the sword of Damocles, day in day out, is enough to send anyone spiraling into a state of anxiety, fear and paralysis.

Like it or not, though, uncertainty is the new normal. We live in a time where the world is in a state of constant, long-term flux. And, that’s not all. If you want to spend your time on the planet not just getting-by, but consistently creating art, experiences, businesses and lives that truly matter, you’ll need to proactively seek out, invite and even deliberately amplify uncertainty. Because the other side of uncertainty is opportunity.

Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it’s all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn’t happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative.

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(Source: believeinrecovery)

article from marcandangel.com

You don’t have to settle, it’s simply a choice you make every day.  If you feel like you’re running in place there’s a good chance you’re tolerating things you shouldn’t be.  It’s time to reclaim your life.

Starting now, stop tolerating…

1. People who bring you down. – Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
2. Your own negativity. – Be aware of your mental self-talk.  We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.  Start listening to your thoughts.  If you hear negative thoughts, stop and replace them with positive thoughts.

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(Source: believeinrecovery)

article from marcandangel.com

Every day is a new beginning.  But in life, sometimes you have to stop before you can truly begin.  So starting today…

Stop caring about everyone’s opinion of you.

For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter.  When I was younger I let the opinions of my high school and early college peers influence my decisions.  And at times they steered me away from ideas and goals I strongly believed in.  I realize now, many years later, that this was a foolish way to live, especially when I consider that nearly all of these people whose opinions I cared so much about are no longer a part of my life.

Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way.  What they think and say about you isn’t important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself. 

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(Source: believeinrecovery)

article from tinybuddha.com

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.” -Charles Swindoll

One day everything seems great in your world; maybe not perfect, but overall things are going to plan. And then something happens.

You lose your job. Or someone you love. Or your home. Or maybe even your health.

It isn’t fair. You don’t deserve it. You didn’t see it coming. You didn’t plan for it. You have so many feelings and frustrations you don’t know what to do first–or if you want to do anything at all.

It would be easier to sit around feeling bad. Looking for people to blame and complain to. Rehashing what you could have done to make things happen differently. Or what you would have done if you only realized before. Or what other people should have done to help you.

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(Source: believeinrecovery)